In a
lot of my posts I talk about doing some introspection to discover what issues
are holding you back from achieving your goals.
For some of you getting in touch with your feelings and motivations
isn’t easy. So how do you do this if you
aren’t so skilled at it?
Some
people might be repressing, or hiding their feelings even from themselves. Others have an internal editor that
immediately starts making excuses or rationalizing feelings or behavior. To get in touch with the underlying motivations
you have to start with a relaxed mind.
If you ask
people when they have their biggest revelations or best ideas you will find
that it’s usually when they are very relaxed, in the shower, just before
falling asleep, or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. I’m not recommending drugs or alcohol, there
are safer methods listed below.
Self Reflection Techniques
1)
Meditation is a great way to relax the mind and learn about yourself. I’m not an expert at mediation, in fact I
hate doing it, so I can’t teach it, but I have provided a couple links to get
you started:
2)
Journaling at least once a day can help reveal your internal thoughts and
feelings. The trick is to write without
editing. Just get everything out and on
to the page as quickly as possible in a steady flow of ideas. It’s like brainstorming. Start with some event that happened during
the day and describe what happened, how you felt, what thoughts you had. Then keep writing until it just starts to
become gibberish. Practice this every
day and you will get deeper and deeper in touch with yourself.
3) This
is a behavioral study technique that I learned when I was doing animal behavior
studies, but it can be adapted for studying feelings too. Set an alarm on your
watch or smartphone to go off at specific intervals (the interval can be
whatever you want). Then when the alarm
goes off try to remember what you were thinking and feeling just prior to the
alarm. This teaches you to be aware of what
you are feeling in the moment. Keep a
record of your thoughts and feelings and you may begin to notice patterns which
can teach you a great deal.
4)
Relaxing physical activity can calm the mind.
Take a solitary walk, bike ride or some other calming activity of your
choice. Listen to your self-talk during
this activity. Are you thinking ahead,
planning for the future? Are you
dwelling on something in the past? Are
you enjoying the current moment? Are you stressed out because you are alone? See what patterns you notice.
Practice
As with
anything, you will get better at introspection the more you do it. Give yourself plenty of time to learn this
new skill. If you are always surrounded
with other people you may need to find time to be alone. Introspection is a solitary activity, the
presence of others can disrupt your thoughts.
Today’s Action
Item: Set a timer for 30 minutes, 1
hour, 2 hours from now & try studying yourself.
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