But Life is So Hard!

I know, right?  A lot of the time life is hard, no one gave you a guarantee that life would be easy.  Some people (the rich, talented and beautiful mostly) seem to have it easy, but then why do so many of them resort to drugs, alcohol and suicide?  Because it’s not easy for them either, we all just have different struggles.

Coping mechanisms

 

I don’t mean chemical help; I mean techniques that help you deal with problems.  The people you think have easy lives, really just have better coping mechanisms or are natural optimists.  The best way to make life seem easier is to improve your coping skills.  I’ll have a few posts on various coping mechanisms coming up soon. Some useful coping mechanisms include: questioning your assumptions, stress management techniques, optimism, supportive social network, physical exercise, planning and goal setting.

Question your assumptions

 

I’ll start with the technique of questioning your assumptions.  The first assumption to question is that life should to be easy because it is for Ms. X.  But you don’t live in MS. X’s skin, you don’t know what she is dealing with internally.  She may be the eternal optimist who simply refuses to see anything in a negative light, or she may just be presenting the most positive image of herself to the world while she is suffering inside.  Your assumption may be wrong.

Question your assumption that everything you try is destined to fail.  That’s not true either, unless you believe it and act as though it is true.  One of my favorite quotes is from Henry Ford  “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”.  What you believe is usually a self-fulfilling prophesy.  So question your beliefs.  Why do you believe that?  Because that’s the way it’s always been?  I bet if you think back with an open mind you can find lots of situations in which you succeeded, focus on those instances.  Give it a try.

Question your assumption that you can’t handle whatever your current problem is.  You’ve made it this far in life, you must be able to handle problems.  You may not enjoy handling problems, but guess what?  No one does!  However, the better you get at handing problems the smaller the problems appear to be.  Most of the things you are dealing with you have handled in some way before.  Search your memory for those instances, use them to boost your confidence that you can solve this problem.  There is no better confidence builder than having been through hell with a problem and coming out the other side a little singed perhaps, but still alive and ready to move on.  With the knowledge that you can solve big problems each subsequent problem seem smaller and easier to handle.

Today's Action Item:  What are you bothered by or worried about today?  Question your assumptions about the situation and your ability to deal with it. What did you learn?